Praline the Poodle Has Never Touched Sand (and Has No Plans To)

Living on an island and owning a dog who refuses to go near the beach is a little ridiculous, but it is exactly what happened to me. Praline is a cream toy poodle, thirty centimetres of curls, and she has lived on Koh Samui since she was eight weeks old. In seven years she has never touched sand. When we go to the shore, she stays on the little wooden walkway and looks at the waves as if they are not quite polite.

Her day starts with a short walk on the shady side of our road. She wears a small harness, trots on tiptoe and says good morning to the neighbours' cats. Then she takes her post on the pink cushion near the window in the shade, where she watches the geckos, the postman and the lizards on the garden wall. Samui is hot and wet most of the year, and she is a dog who simply does not suffer through it. We have the fan, the cool tile and a bowl of fresh water in every room.

Sunday is the big day, though. Every Sunday she goes to the groomer in Chaweng. I take the scooter, with her in a carrier on my lap, and I do the ride at a crawl. She goes in looking like a slightly rumpled cloud and comes out looking like she has just won a competition. She pretends not to know me for the first ten minutes, then forgives me with a sniff. The groomer told me to brush her curls every day to avoid mats, and checks her ears and teeth for me every week. She suggested a vet visit for the teeth, since small dogs tend to have dental problems. We went last spring, and our vet said her teeth were fine for now, with a daily brush.

Her biggest weakness is soft cheese. At the dinner table she sits two metres away, perfectly straight, and mournfully watches every plate as it travels from the table to my mouth. It is a masterclass in guilt. I give her one very small piece on Saturdays, no more, and on all other days she sits there with her whole body expressing a quiet tragedy.

People ask whether she is bored, living this narrow life on a beautiful island. I think not. She has a routine, a window, and a person who adores her. That is a whole world, if you are a small poodle. Maybe one day she will try sand. Maybe not.